Tired of gratitude platitudes? Practice these instead.🦃

Tired of gratitude platitudes? 

Practice these four instead.

As we enter the season of giving and receiving, I’m taking a break from the normal news messages and cheery holiday chatter.

Instead, I’ll share what I’m observing in organizations, and how it limits your true potential in 2026.

What is the consistent theme?

Many teams are tired, under-appreciated, and barely engaged. In fact, Gallup’s recent Employee Engagement Study reports only 27% of managers are engaged at work.

They are privately, desperately looking for places to contribute and belong.

One of my CEO clients told me privately today “It has been a rough year for everyone—including our clients—and people need a rest.”

He’s spot on.

I also received a private note from one of the 698 webinar attendees earlier this month. She said:

“What resonated with me the most is the loneliness epidemic. Since COVID, I lost both my parents and close friends to illnesses. Your webinar on ‘Peer Powered Networks’ brought me to tears.”

In my decades as an adviser, author and speaker, I have rarely heard these heartfelt messages from people I never formally met.

These times are different.

And as a result, we need to lead and communicate differently, too. We need to sharpen our focus. Design clear visions that inspire and align.

Instead of the pat “thank you” and “trust me, the future is bright” messages during your next company town hall, consider these culture boosters:

1.  Practice “informal enlistment.” I learned this strategy from my good friend Sally Helgesen. During our Marketing Growth Leaders offsite, Sally suggested approaching a high potential person on your team who excels in a certain area, and saying “I noticed you are great at leading customer advisory board meetings (or some other quality/superpower)…I want to improve in this area, also. Is there anything I should practice, read or study?” This curiosity signals you are open to growing and changing. The bonus benefit? You are indirectly thanking them for their contribution without sounding obsequious.
2. During crisis, create learning moments for aspiring leaders. Sally described a time when former Girl Scout CEO Frances Hesselbein faced a potential scandal within the cookie program. Instead of hiding from the assertive New York Times journalist, she scheduled the interview AND invited several new hires and communications interns.

Not only did she brief them in advance with the meeting purpose and goals. She also scheduled a debrief with each person to identify how they would have changed or improved the meeting outcome.

When Sally asked Frances why she invited them, she said “the team never gets to see how a senior leader handles a crisis.”

3. Turn false credit into collaboration. Have you ever witnessed a peer stealing someone else’s idea? I have. Many times.

Instead of complaining or shaming, turn lemons into lemonade. Approach the “idea robber” in a group setting and say:

“I am glad you liked my idea. Maybe we can collaborate on this…

in fact, I would like two other colleagues (names here) to team up with us to test the idea locally.”

4. Watch your language. If you want to be known as someone with agency—someone who takes ownership of their projects, teams and career—act and speak like an owner. Use the “we” pronoun more than “they.”

Lisa at the Ellipse, October 2024

Wonder how this can impact your audience or customers? Look back on October 29, 2024.

On that cool evening, under the bright lights of the DC Ellipse, presidential candidate Kamala Harris delivered a compelling campaign speech. I remember it well; I was in the crowd with dear friend Charlene Li.

Charlene at the Ellipse, October 2024

Her speechwriters carefully crafted her message down to the pronouns. The speech contained 35 “we” and 12 “us” pronouns—and only 9 “they” pronouns (source: Rollcall).

Conversely, the Trump MAGA speech in Butler, PA contained 38 “we” pronouns and 37 “they” pronouns. While I do not intend to polarize my dear subscribers nor analyze speeches in detail, I find the pronoun breakdowns telling.

Do your important messages lean towards blame or agency?

These four indirect forms of gratitude outshine platitudes. They open dialog. They require live conversation—not a text or Slack message.

Here’s your challenge this week.

Together, let’s go cold turkey on social media and mind-numbing texting. Instead, practice these creative forms of appreciation.

And please pass them around the bountiful team table. Holidays are not always jolly and fun for everyone, including me. In fact, YOU are the reason I continue to publish during my darker moments.

This post was completely written by me — a human. I did not use generative AI.

© 2025, Lisa Nirell. All rights reserved. lisanirell.com.